ANECDOTE OF THE MONTH

Steven Wilde recounts his experience with wit and aplomb

Virtual 5k  Time 38’14”, Bolton Road (A6), Chorley on  Saturday 25th January 

Weather:- cool but sunny

This was an undulating out and back route, which occasioned me to pass the Yarrow Bridge public house twice, which proved to be problematic. 

On the first approach to the pub it became obvious that a large number of young adults were in attendance at, as I was later to discover, a 21st birthday party. 

Many of the attendees had spilled outside into the beer garden and to use the parlance of our time, things were ‘kicking off’.

At this juncture I was subjected to a degree of verbal abuse as I walked past the pub, with no shortage of industrial language and rude words of Anglo-Saxon origin, enough to give swearing a bad name.

Some twenty minutes later, on the return leg, the fracas, or melee, had escalated, with party food now being hurled, or chucked, every which way, as I became an easy target in the crossfire. 

Walking the gauntlet,  I was struck with chicken legs(extra tasty),  whist pies, vol-au-vents and sausage rolls, as well as a range of vegetarian options. 

A dollop of jelly and custard was aimed with precision into my left ear-hole , which temporarily rendered me a trifle deaf.

Understandably,  this experience knocked me off my stride, and I suspect my finishing time might have been quicker had I not received such a buffeting.

With kind regards and much poetic licence 

SCRATCH TIMES

Nigel Shaw 29:47 – apologies to Nigel as I’ve lost a message in which he mused upon the balance between stride length and cadence – see mention in https://lancswalkingclub.com/2025/02/06/the-new-year-and-a-new-turnaround/

Ken Connor 29:58 – I do most of my training in a small park close to Fiddlers Ferry power station. The photo below was taken just before Xmas, the remaining 4 cooling towers in view.
My January has given limited opportunity to train due illness. nothing major thankfully.
I managed 29.58 for my 5Km walk this morning. It felt surprisingly comfortable and smooth.

Tony Bell 32:14 – the plan was to racewalk Millhouses parkrun but this was cancelled due to black ice.

Marco Bernatski 34:18 – my question is whether you accept my yesterday’s treadmill session in a personal best of 32:12.1? It is always easier on a treadmill without the cold and windy weather. My fast training some days ago under winterly weather circumstances ended after 34:18.0 It’s up to you which time you take. Greetings from Gelsenkirchen in North Rhine-Westphalia. We took the road time

Greg Smith 35:34 – Got out tonight for a 5k time trial on my usual course at Bury Ground, an old industrial area near the centre of the town on the River Irwell flood plain (in fact there is a monitoring station there–see: https://check-for-flooding.service.gov.uk/station/5026 ) It was a cold night–halfway through I had to share the road with the lorry gritting the roads in anticipation of frost. Very pleased to clock 35:34, much against the run of recent dismal performances!

Roy Gunnett 36:01 – Nigel, Greg and I did our January 5k at the Stockport track this afternoon. Nigel and Greg did faster clockings later in the month. We walked in the 4th lane all the way as this lane, whilst still covered in snow and ice, was less affected than lanes 1 to 3. Adrian did a great job in clearing lane 1 whilst the time trial was going on in lane 4, so that we could use it after the trail for training.

Pat Evans 37:26 – time was done on our park run course which isn’t really too racewalk friendly with some grassy bits and gravelly sections.

Steve Wilde 38:14 – see his eloquence above!

John Crahan 39:30 – Sun kissed Cleveleys had all the flood barriers in place today except for the large exit to the High Street. Inspired by this, my 5k which finished on the promenade was indifferent.I started off slowly and slowed down. I broke 40 mins as I did 39min30 sec .

Phillip McCullagh 39:54

Alex Rowe 42:32 – this was at the Fleetwood parkrun last Saturday 25th.

Guy Goodair 55:47 – I did a 5km today – a pathetic 55.47!
In my defence lm suffering piriformis syndrome in my left buttock but I’m afraid that I’m showing down badly

Sailash Shah 55:05

HANDICAP TIMES

1.Nigel Shaw 29:47
2. Ken Connor 29:48
3. Greg Smith 30:39
4. Marco Bernatzki 31:18
5. Alex Rowe 31:32
6. Steve Wilde 31:34
7. Tony Bell 31:54
8. Pat Evans 32:51
9. Roy Gunnett 33:06
10. John Crahan 33:35
11. Guy Goodair 35:07
12. Phil McCullagh 36:14
13. Sailash Shah 50:40

AGE-GRADED PERFORMANCES

Pat Evans 78.85%

Nigel Shaw 76.83%

Roy Gunnett 76.35%

Ken Connor 75.58%

Greg Smith 71.54%

Tony Bell 70.27%

John Crahan 67.68%

Phil McCullagh 60.57%

Guy Goodair 59.22%

Alex Rowe 55.56%

Sailash Shah 40.73%